Archive for June, 2008
I hope so…
Before Jon and I started dating we were best friends. I had another best friend at the time. She happened to have strong feelings for Jon and hoped that he would someday be hers. I hoped for that too because I wanted her to be happy.
I had also promised her that nothing would ever happen between Jon and I because I couldn’t do that to her. What a stupid promise to make. There are some things that you just can’t control, as much as you would like to.
I remember the night that I realized that I was in love with Jon and couldn’t live without him. It was 8 weeks before he left to go on his mission. He was walking out of the temple, after having received his endowments, and my sister and I were waiting outside for him (and everyone that was with him). I turned around to see him coming out the door and when he looked at me and smiled I knew I was in trouble. My very first thought was, “Oh no. She’s going to be so mad at me.”
For just over two weeks I fought it with everything I had. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened at the temple. I didn’t allow myself to think about it because I knew what it would do to my relationship with someone I considered very special to me. I didn’t want to lose that. I didn’t know what to do.
After weeks of fighting and debating about what needed to be done, I couldn’t take it anymore. I got down on my knees and I prayed to know what to do. That day, a group of us was going up to the LA temple so that some of us could do a session while the rest of us waited outside and then we were all going to go to lunch. I sat on a bench outside with two of my girl friends and pondered my options – silently, I still wasn’t allowing myself to talk about it. Maybe if I didn’t talk about it, it wasn’t really real. Then the girls started talking to me about Jon and how much they were going to miss him when he left. I told them that I would miss him too. Then they started asking questions about how much I was going to miss him and why I was going to miss him that much. Turns out, I wasn’t fooling anybody – just myself. In the 90 minute tearful conversation that followed, my two girl friends gave me the answer to my prayer. I knew what needed to be done.
The next day, Jon and I went to San Diego to buy the suits he needed for his mission. I knew I had to say something to him that day but I didn’t know if I was brave enough to do it. I did know that those two girls from the temple would be following up with me later that day (they were coming over for dinner). We went back to the apartment that I shared with my best friend and had “The Talk.” When it was all over we didn’t know what to do. We knew that we shared feelings for each other and we both cared very deeply for our friend. In the interest of time, we decided not to do anything or say anything to anyone. The two girls from the temple were sworn to secrecy.
I’m not all that hard to read and neither is Jon. My best friend certainly wasn’t … isn’t … stupid. She figured it out. My worst fears were realized… I hurt someone – BAD. Not just “someone” but my best friend. The only person in the world at that time in my life that understood everything about me. She knew why I did things the way I did them and she respected it. Hurt her deep enough that she never said another word to me. Ever. To this day.
It’s been almost 6 years. Jon and I have been happily married for almost 4 of those years. We think about her and talk about her often, always praying for her, hoping that some day she’ll forgive us for causing so much pain.
I sent a “friend request” to her Facebook account last week. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy. She accepted. I’m glad. I still miss her.
We wanted to go out to dinner tonight with my sister and her husband (and the nephew, of course) but we’re tired of the same-old-same-old so we decided to go somewhere we’ve never been before. We picked this neat Italian place in Oceanside over by Albertson’s on Mission, just off Douglas, called Capozzoli’s Pizzeria & Restaurant. It’s actually where Killer Pizza From Mars used to be.
Based on the location, I was hesitant. As soon as we walked in though I was glad we came.
The owner’s name is Joe. His dad was just inside the front door hugging everyone as though he was greeting family. It was strange at first, but he was completely comfortable welcoming “his friends” to his son’s “home.” He hung in the small waiting area with us for a few minutes getting to know a little bit about us. Then he wished us a great evening and wandered off to visit with the rest of his new friends.
We were seated shortly thereafter and were welcomed with a basket of bread and glasses of water. Our waitress came by and got our drink orders, brought our drinks, then our food. She was very friendly and talked to us like we were, well, family.
Dinner was really good. I ordered the Chicken Piccata and was very happy with it. Brian and EmaLee ordered the Linguine Pesto and they loved it. Jon ordered the Veal Parmesan and was surprised by the size of the medallions.
Dessert was dreamy! Em ordered the Chocolate Cake. It was very rich and extremely moist. It was almost like eating fudge. Brian ordered the Spumoni and swore that it was homemade. The Dark Chocolate Gelato was typical (which is always good).
It just so happened that there was a woman there that sings in an opera club up in LA so they asked her to sing for everyone. They got everyones attention and we listened as she sang three songs to us, the last one being Ave Maria. It was beautiful – she was really good.
Good food, good company, good entertainment. A bit pricey. We’ll definitely go back again but can’t go too often because of the price. I would totally recommend it as a good date night restaurant, as long as you don’t mind being treated like family while you’re there.
We had so much fun on Friday! It was our last Friday together before the end of the Seminary year and I wanted to make it upbeat and cheerful. I had no idea how much fun we would have.
I have such a cool dynamic in my class. I have kids from all three of the wards that meet in our building, including the Spanish ward. They have loved to spend Fridays working on just memorizing Scripture Mastery. Quite a few of them are really close to passing off all 25 (I only have two more to go!). Since Friday was our last Friday for this year, I was just going to give them that day and had just planned to sing an upbeat hymn to get the class started. I decided on “There Is Sunshine in My Soul Today” (#227) and told them that we had to sing all verses and we had to sing them loud so that Brother Prettyman’s class could hear us all the way down the hall. They thought that was a good idea too. Then someone mentioned singing it in Spanish (there were a couple Spanish hymn books in our room). We decided that half the class would sing in Spanish and the other half in English. So far there were only six of us there so Brooke, Paige and I sang in English and Abel, Maria and Edwin sang in Spanish. We had so much fun that after the opening hymn we decided to sing another one.
As the rest of the class started to trickle in, they would walk in and be totally confused but before long they were singing just as loud as we were. We ended up singing “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”, “Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel”, “Carry On”, “How Firm a Foundation”, and a couple of others. Then we spent some time on Scripture Mastery, because our voices were tired, and at the end of class we sang “Choose the Right” because the kids wanted to get that song stuck in their heads so that they would “… make right choices all day long.” Their words, not mine.
I swear, I have the best kids EVER in my class!! I’m going to miss them over the summer and some of them next year (when they have to move up into the OTHER class)!